As I flop down behind my desk and kick off my shoes after another exhilarating-yet-exhausting day of teaching, it’s hard to slow my thoughts down long enough to actually process the day’s events. That one child with whom I just can’t seem to connect, no matter how much I try; 2nd graders intently and busily creating popsicle stick rhythms on the expansive classroom floor; hesitantly excited hands raised to indicate interest in a longed-for solo.
I love this job – the wonderful way in which no two days are ever alike in my music classroom. Boring is a foreign word in my vocabulary these days. Yet, the ever looming temptation is to let these everyday occurrences begin to define me. I believe one of the hardest adjustments to becoming a teacher is learning not to allow the days “successes” or “failures” to determine how valuable I deem myself. When the last child leaves my classroom, whether the class was a winner or a flop, where does my identity lie?
I recently re-watched the movie August Rush with the simple intent of enjoying the creativity in the music of the movie. However, as the credits rolled, one phrase from the movie stuck with me. There is an exchange between two characters in which an older, worldly-wise street man asks the young boy, Evan, what he wants to be, more than anything else. Evan responds with a profound one-word statement: “Found.” This unexpected and poignant response struck me at the core. Isn’t that the cry of every heart, deep down? The longing to be found; to be known truly and loved unconditionally; to be home.
And the beauty is, anyone who has met Jesus has been found already. Such a person is known truly by the Omniscient One and loved deeply by the Author of Love. That is the reality of who I am: found in Him. And along with that reality, as I learn to walk more closely with this Immanuel, others will find me in Him as well. That is my prayer: that all who see me will see Christ because I live with Him. What does it matter that my 7th grade lesson plan made no sense when I actually taught it, or on the other hand that the 4th grade kids cheer when they know it’s time for music. I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. If I have been found in Him today, through my words, my deeds, and my attitudes, it is a good day. And even when I fail, I remember that I have not laid hold of the prize yet, but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
So here I will sit with a tired brain and sore feet, but a quiet and satisfied heart. My feelings don’t always line up with the knowledge of my “foundness,” but they will catch up eventually. And in the meantime, I will choose to enjoy the One who loves me enough to give me everything – even a place in His home.
